Opposable thumbs have given the human species a leg up in the gene pool, and modern industry has increasingly made packaging more and more difficult in what seems to be an effort to level the playing field. Damn commies.

While perusing the Mutineer Magazine blog the other day, I found the democratic answer: enter the TorkScrew.

This all in one corkscrew can open beer bottles, Champagne bottles, screwcaps, and of course, regular corks. The thing even has a magnet to attach Christmas cards to your refrigerator when it’s not performing pure magic.

The original idea was to find a way to return the class to screw cap enclosed wine bottles. We held a poll a few weeks ago on whether or not you felt cheated of the romance of uncorking a wine bottle. Apparently you guys aren’t very sentimental because 88% didn’t care, with the remaining 12% finding it an intriguing move. But I’m sure there are more than a few of you out there that can appreciate a return to finesse.

Coming in sassy colors such as, “Verdicchio Green,” and especially close to my Chicano heart, “Cielo Blue,”  this can actually be a pretty handy tool around the house, and I’d be interested to see what restaurants adopt the idea.

I’m actually more interested in seeing what troubled TV personality they’ll hire as a spokesman. With Billy Mays gone, and Vince busy doing… Well, Paula Abdul‘s gotta be getting pretty desperate for a career by now. If only it could also open those danged child-proof caps!

That’s my idea, by the way.